news

05-06-11
THE UPLIFT MOFOS SUMMER PANIC FEST! So, we booked a date every month this summer. Catch us while we hot, igga.

05-05-09
We've got a swat team of shows! well... more like the june 3rd acoustic show is getting rescheduled. but we did book a show for august 19th hollah! Until then, come to our show on the 20th and be blown away to oblivion times a million.

05-05-02
WELL Mofos the jig is up! we;ve got the lineup for the may 20th show. we are featuring al chem on bass, pauly blunts on guitar and mike parasdizzle on drums. we're going to have pony rides and carousels and ferris wheels and the 9 wonders of the world including the freshkills landfill. check us out mofos!

05-04-11
Well all, we've got the lineup for our next show, which will be an acoustic show. The lineup is as follows: Myself on vocals and acoustic guitar, Mike-o will be on the acoustic drum kit, Johnny B will be on the acoustic bass guitar and our good friend Pauly blunts will be managing effects. Prepare to get DONCULOUS!

05-03-07
This is delayed but thanks to everyone who came out to see us play on the 28th...and by that i mean all four people who came. Thanks all the same, though. you guys rule! Anyway, now for even better news. we've got four dates coming up in april, may and june at dock street. Yeah, yeah dock street. the place you always swear to never play again but somehow keep coming back. all that aside, this should be pretty kick ass. Dan unfortunately will not be returning on bass. we always have trouble keeping a bassist around, damn it. So who's gonna take his place? I'll keep you guys posted...whoever still reads this crap anyway.

04-12-15
Sup homebrews, we've got a show coming up in late January. The lineup for this show regarding who plays what is not yet decided on 100 % but i'm probably gonna be on guitar and vocals as always, pauly b is gonna be on the guitar and mikey p is gonna be on the drumapaphonic symphony set. Stevey l should be hockin up the bassamaphone and the vocoder might just make an appearance and dance away into our memory banks where it will wash away to the undying lands i guess to the west. CHECK US OUT mo's

04-10-30
Well nuckers, there's a show tonight info posted in the when section. the lineup for tonight will be me, stevo on guitar and lyrics, pauly on bass, mike p on drums. HOLLAH!

04-03-24
It's been a while. The mofos have been on hiatus since the summer with college apps and whatnot. But that's all over now so we are going to be reforming. However, casualties have been suffered. Ethan, brave Ethan from the tribe of coolness will not be returning with his awesome bassisms. A replacement is in order. The numbers of the mofos are dwindling. We shall soon see who remains. On another note, the Uplift Mofos website can now be found through most search engines, including google and altavista. CHECK THEM APPLES OUT! Anyway...I don't really know who still checks this site out, but if you're reading this out of your own good will, YOU ARE AWESOME. Come to our shows. Also, I would like to call attention to the iLL Magnets Project, which is basically me, Stevo, recording some songs while the mofos regroup. You can check it out if you have a Yahoo account at: ill magnets project Yeah, so check out thems apples. I'll be updating most of the sections shortly. KICK IT!

03-10-19
I am updating this site to bring attention to whoever reads this now or in the future to clear up my quote in the Staten Island Advance in the Flip section of Sunday October 19, 2003. This is what i'm quoted as saying: "I do not support music downloading. sitting around and downloading entire albums off of an artist may not directly affect the artist or artists but it will affect everyone else involved in the production of the album. The level of downloading that's going on right now is so extreme that even large record labels are feeling it. The people who do the menial work who are paid by commission are seriously getting screwed." First of all, I stand by what i said in that quote because it's a hundred percent true. Because people like copyists, lawyers, lyricists, mixers, producers are actually being affected more harshly than artists ever could. But on the other hand, some record labels such as vagrant records have large selection of singles available for downloading from their bands. And i totally support the spread of music in this fashion because the record label is putting music out there for free download. And these aren't shitty quality mp3's either. They're also full songs. I mean, i could check out 3 singles from the new album by alkaline trio and be like, hey this sounds good or hey this sounds bad and decide whether or not to buy the album or not right there. Also some bands have their entire album available for online listening through flash audio. Like reggie and the fulle effect and the get up kids both have their entire albums online for flash listening. You can check out every single song there and decided whether the album's worth purchasing or not. People in the music business are seriously in a panic about what to do because downloading is getting to extremes. And when i mean music business i don't mean the minority percentage of major artists and ceo's and vps and presidents. I mean everyone that goes to work every day and earns wages off of record sales for their work. These people are seriously getting hurt. This is my opinion, agree or disagree it's really up to you. But you should really consider who's actually getting affected by mass downloading. And in all honesty, it's really not the artist.

03-09-02
What up mofos?! The time has come for a new update. Well we didn't play any shows this summer like we had aspired to do. Shame. That's okay though we had some really prgressive practices though. We're all pretty hyped about this band. We will try to shoot for shows in early to mid October. When we have a definite show date planned I will post all the information in the When section. Elsewhere in mofo land, a new song is to be posted in the What section. It should be terrific. New pictures are to be added to the Where section courtesy of Anne from one of our practices long ago. We will be taking more pictures at our next practice. Also we are now allowing up to 3 visitors to our practices if you wanna come let me know and we'll put you on the scent list so Pablo doesn't viciously rip you to shreds when you come in through the door. Remember this, birds of a feather flock together.

03-08-07
What is the meaning of this?! Chocolate chip cookies in brownies?! Could it be?! Or did i just finish the site. Officially. The WHY section is now up with BULLSHIT content. But it'll do for now. The idea dawned on me as i was just finishing up on my daily escapade with my right hand. PICTURE!!! Anyway, so the section is now up and i need to wash myself. Until next time.

03-08-05
Yo, it is the mofo speaking. We have a HUUUGE update. We just added an entire new section WHAT NOW BEEEYATCH! Anyway, the 'Where' section is officially up and it totally kicks Urukai ASS!!! We only have three pics of Dan though because he's not very camera friendly. He also didn't come with us on our night excursion because he had to watch the pets. No worries though we made sure he got a big big slurpee. Anyway. Few songs were added in the WHAT section. Our show is gonna be August 22nd Check back for place and time information. All things are proceeding smoothly. BRING ON THE CAKE!!!

03-07-29
Greetings, i bring to you the sickest of the sickest SONG UPDATES!!! I have updated the WHAT section with 4 more songs! One contributed by mofo Paulska...So CHECK IT OUT OR I'LL KILL YOU. News to me, we're gonna have a full band practice thursday and friday. It should begin thursday night and continue friday morning to friday afternoon. In between the two days we'll probably have a massive snack raid i mean sleep over at mofo Dan's abode. In the meantime, the practice should be spectacular and we'll be requesting the services of anyone with a decent camera to come and take pictures of us for us. We'll post these images onto the WHERE section as soon as we get them. For now, i'll be working on a tunnel.

03-07-12
Today was another band practice, WOOT! Yeah...we need some work, but I'm confident that we can sound top notch in a matter of weeks. So, I predict that we'll be awesome by the time August rolls around. Expect great things to come your way. And if you haven't already check out the fucking forum already! Because I will hustle you with puppets!

03-07-08
As promised, a weekly update ensues. Well, maybe a tad late...fuck y'all. Anyway, I am happy to say that the Uplift Mofos Forum is blowing up quite nicely. Everyone should go check it out and post something for laughs or for spite. One or the other. Either way we should all be in for a good time eh? Yeah, enough of that bullshit. Now onto the site news. We officially canceled the basement concert thing on Paul's birthday, and announced the tour thing we're gonna have in Jersey. It's a pretty big venue, but I think it's safe to say that we'll play something smaller before we play Jersey. So keep your eyes PEELED for a new show date. Also I added two original songs in the 'what' section: You Cannot Resist Moi, a love song dedicated to Ms. Piggy from the Muppets; and Allo It's Victor From France, a love song written in French from a French Stalker to an American girl. Classy. Ok folks, thats it from me. Until next time, keep lubing those rectums.

03-06-30
Well, well, well. It seems to me like we just added a message board as well as a forum to our site. One catch though: you gotta join the aimoo community to use it or something. I think...or maybe just to use the chatroom. Anyway they're on the main page right now which you can always access by clicking the logo at the top of this page. Anyway...The show in paul's basement will most likely be pushed back a week or two. Probably the end of july or something. But in the meantime we'll begin to practice in earnest soon. Check back here for updates and stuff. I'm gonna start updating like at least once a week or something. We also submitted the site to a few search engines. Probably like altavista and lycos...stuff like that...hey it was free so F you...mofo. CUT LOOSE MOFOS!

03-06-4
June the 4th Mofos!!! Meaning time for another update because the suckas in my basement ain't getting food till i say so nuckas. So what's the big deal? I corrected our show date from the 16th of July to the 14th of July which is Paul's REAL birthday so that means free birthday punches for all. Also, because of certain circumstances Mofo Christine can't join us. So, we are again searching for someone to slam the keys on the stupid mofo keyboardaphone. When we find someone we'll let you know first okiedokieaight? Great. New song added! Keep the good times rolling donkey punchers!

03-05-30
Oh man I'm definitely on a roll. I have added the "What" section. This section will now reveal all the magical lyrics behind the music that we bring to you. In the future expect other things like song clips perhaps or maybe chord progressions to songs. You know, the cool stuff. We are having an Uplift Mofos practice tomorrow with the entire band and a guest musician by the name of Mofo Christine who will be playing the keyboardaphone. We don't know if she'll be a permanent addition as of yet but we hope she'll stick around. Anyway i think another bowl of Waffle Crisps is calling my name...until next time, i'll be going number 2 in your parents' bedroom.

03-05-29
Finally completed another section. I have added the "When" section. It will contain show dates and show places. The dates are all tentative right now but as they draw nearer I will put down definite dates and time as well as info on the locations of the shows. It will be all good. As soon as we get some pics taken i'll post them up in one of the sections. Also, the Uplift Mofos logo is now a link to the Uplift Mofos Homepage where you can find the super cool guestbook. Way cool right? Stay tuned for more, panty sniffers.

03-05-27
OOO look it! I updated again! I'm on a roll, i can tell. I added a fantastic new guestbook, which should be stupendous and offend every member of my band. Or something like that. I want to be Johnny Football Hero.

03-05-26
The Mofos ride again! Welcome back to the clan of the Mofos or the Mofos clan. We clutter and rush before the allotted time and pretend to be your allies but BS you before you can unally us, you morons. Yeah that's right, when you're trying to build your defense we'll be building Proton Cannons in your base. Combined defense we say, but when the BS is on the Proton Cannons destroy! And who can forget the masses of Battle Cruisers that annhilate the survivors. Beware. Reaver Drops to the Max! Yeah we pretend to be Noobs but the jokes on you, assholes. Anyway...onto the music. Dan Schein will be replacing our beloved Rob on the drumaphones and we may possibly recruit a keyboardist for the keyboardaphone. Only time will tell who it is. Until next time i decide to update this rust bucket, Jimmy TaTa and Tally Ho! You douche gobblers.

03-04-24
The DOM section is now open for enjoyment. But be warned, there's no telling what will happen...NUCKA. So here we are and don't forget! The Uplift Mofos will Knock that Mofo Baggins through the floor!

03-04-23
I added the who section and and DOM section today. Wait for more changes because I'm gonna dish out the fun like you never expected and OH CRAP!
It's that Mofo Baggins!!!

03-04-22
And the site is finally up. Good riddance. I mean good...whatever. So. GET READY FOR SOME ACTION PACKED ADVENTURE AND FUN AND GAMES AND SUCH AND SUCH becuase BABY WE'RE GONNA PAAAAAAAAARTAAAAAAY!!! SUCKA!!! KYEAH!!! KYEAH!!! LIKE WHAT?!?! TAKE THAT MOFO BAGGINS!!! @@@###$$$%%%^^^%%%$$$###@@@!!!
word.